Friday, February 16, 2007


so, i just turned eighteen. that was about, uhm, two days ago. i wonder how it's gonna be like. so far, nothing's changed. the world still turns like it did for the last seventeen years of my life. questions just keep coming back in my head. what will happen now? or, is something really gonna happen? looking back, i don't think i've done much. so i say i can't die now. because if i will, i'll die unfulfilled. and that would really suck. it's my first year in college now, so how the hell would i be able to say it's fine to die like this? wait, why am i talking about death? erase. maybe it just comes with thinking about my life. it's disturbing to realize i've walked the earth for already eighteen years now yet it seems to me i've only lived for some short time. i can't say i have done nothing 'cause that would be completely stupid. i surpassed highschool, that's kinda good enough. college is nice. my family is great as always. my friends are the best. and my dear God loves me still. not bad having those things and people for eighteen years, right? this writing-down-my-thoughts idea gets me to see how much i have grown. aside for the fact i'm eighteen. the way i see the world. my beliefs. my feelings. the thoughts. memories. they keep me alive. i remember that one part of my life, i think it's one of the major causes for the changes in my existence. it's amazing how all the hurt, the pain, could actually bring something so good. change is good, as they say. i can agree. i've changed since that last instance. growing up, growing old. i am growing. life is a game. i can't be too old to play, but i have to be old enough to be in the game.


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