Tuesday, October 31, 2006

March 31, 2006

funny, isn’t it? just when you get to have what you have longed to have, everything just seems to be wrong. well, i don’t know if it works that way for you. but to me that’s how it is.

let’s just say that i finally got what i want most, but it doesn’t just feel right. it’s not that i am not happy about it. hell yes, i am happy. it’s just that, something bothers me. and i don’t know what it is.

i woke up early and feeling bad today. i slept past three, ignoring the fact that
i was sick already. so now i have to bear with the pain down my throat. uhg.

physically and emotionally sick, how fortunate.

anyway, that’s how i got to think of writing it down.

i don’t want to talk, it hurts me.

well, just like how i said earlier, something happened that made me have what i long yearned for. i bet you, if you were in my place, you’d probably be the happiest and most inspired young lady on earth. it’s just like the man you loved for two years has just confessed to you that he was starting to like you too. or like, your mother told you that you won the lottery and that you are 80 million richer now. marvelous. who wouldn’t want that? consider me lucky. Haha.
i think God loves me. really.

now, if i say that something still bothers me, would that be right? i guess not. i want to feel right. i am happy, lucky, and inspired. i am contented. i am beginning to think that I don’t make sense anymore. well, you can’t blame me.

to conclude, i guess i just haven’t absorbed the fact that the dream I’ve dreamt all this time has already come to reality. and it keeps bugging me, so i feel bothered. but really, the feeling’s just overwhelming and unbelievable.

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